The Army

So we've covered the nickname, my first true Des Moines friends, & my first drunken incounters with the love of my life....

That brings us to the army of gals that helped me thru..

There are many woman whom helped me along my way and there are many gals that I am thankful for.
& Some came and gone which made an impact, but we won't speak of them.

A few of the ones that stuck around and put up with my shystie self are a HUGE array of personalities and each of them is like a tiny part of my personality as well.

1st. I met at my first "big girl" job in  downtown Des Moines at Tells Largo.
We were both sitting in training class possibly both complaining of a hangover in need of a drink.
That very moment we knew we were destined to be together.
MAW-Mondays After Work became our favorite as were WAF-Wednesdays After Work etc.
She Sheltered me when I was homeless trying to get back on my feet for a few months
(may I add I feel like EVERY 20 something year old should be homeless at some point in their life. Truly makes you work your bum off)
Also took me to work when my "Car Wouldn't Start" for reasons....
She was like the sweet TOUGH ASS GAL that shook me off and kindly said in her own way "get your shit together."






2nd Gal I first met on my way to a long weekend stay at a friends vacation home in the Ozarks...
She's my Favorite Gal of all seasons.
I was told in that car ride that

"she'll let you know if she doesn't like  you"

So I was terrified not knowing who the hell I was going to be spending the next 4days with.

Obviously we ended up totally hitting it off glow sticking & Party Poopin our lives away.
She had my back on countless attempts of trying to make myself happy.
Taught me that life can't be made thru money and with doing something daily you hate. Gotta do what you love or love what you do.

"Just live to be happy not rich."

3rdly My NBD pal had an eye on a young gal that I was like
"Oh great! Just another 'hey how ya doing, welp see ya later' gal."
BUT NO...she could hang and she became my mom.
The meal cooking....
sleep on my couch and hang....
Hershey box sharing, mom.
& She's gonna be an AMAZING mom here in a few short months & have the same story to share.
There were days I wouldn't even go home and would just happily be with her "Eating HAM" or secretly destroying the Old Country Buffet.



& Last but surely NOT LEAST


4th is a gal I met on the first day of my return to school...
We hit it off because basically we could sing and dance. We were toe tapping monsters...
She called me when I didn't show up to school, countless times, and get me up to make me feel like an ass.
                      It worked every time.

We ended up working together at our PT job and I ended up being in her wedding.
We talk weekly to this day. She's my Till Death Do We part!

Each of them are my Closest Friends due to the fact that they helped me thru HUGE obstacles in my life.
Homeless, Jobless, Depression, & pregnancy.

Kudos, Ladies! Kudos!

Going Steady

        It was around the same time that I was discovering the amazing times that Des Moines had to offer me... was about the same time I had met,
whom at the time I wouldn't realize I would make a happily ever after with,
a man in a dimmly lit bar (supposively) trying to buy me drinks....I dont recall this evening as well as he does but I guess I completely wrote him off cuz I was too cool.

Which was prolly right.
I blame copious amounts of rumplemintz and long islands. (both which make me shiver typing)

We were acquaintances and had mutual friends. We'd run into each other periodically when he was in town and a few times during Iowa Hawkeye Tailgates.
He was even on my 25th birthday party bus, but by the end of the night who wasn't?....
according to my memory Lil Wayne was riding that magical mystery tour. Woof!

ANYWAYS...

It wasn't until my 26th birthday we were in a car on the way to a friends place for an after party....(insert fuzzyness)

 We woke up on adjacent couches him trying to find a ride back to his hotel & me trying to figure out what kind of food I ate before I passed out cuz it still tasted decent
His hotel coincidentally was 2 blocks away from my apartment at the time....

Cab arrived and we trekked back about 20+miles back to downtown....
That morning was my actual birthday ... he had wrote on my Facebook wall while we were in the cab... (and if you know me you know that I NEVER owned a smart phone).
I would receive text msgs stating when someone wrote on it....we wrote back in forth on the post from inches away talking about how neither of us had cash and we were gonna have to run cuz the meter just hit a ridiculous amount

...& then ....
there it was....
I dont know if he asked me or if I said something about tailgating
BUT
we exchanged numbers....

From that very day on my 26th birthday we started texting ....NON-STOP....
all day....
morning to night.....
24hours a day.

We were technological pen pals....

I began to wonder how people learned about each other before cell phones/texting.

He did, however, stand me up on that following New Years Eve, (due to the flu) which SUCKED but totally made up for it that following Valentines Day when we decided we should just be together in a total Saved By The Bell way we were like TOTALLY GOING STEADY.

I like to consider myself more of a Tory of the later years and he seemed dreamy like Zach Morris but was more a Screech Powers at heart.

If I hadn't met him & than continuously re-met him...

Who knows where I would be?

Not healthy.

Not safe.

Being with him makes me a better person. 

He saved me!

(I just ate a hand full of rusty nails to regain my hard ass status)

The Saga Continues

So to start off I'm just gonna say that this blog doesnt go into great details & individual storys of the Blanche time....let's just say that is a story in itself....

More so this is a blog consisting of how I went from a fuzzy 0 to a Gwenny hero...

With that said I will continue......

So I liked the nightlife for the fact that I LOVED to socialize I couldnt stand to be alone when I knew there was someone out there who would go for a brew & shoot the poo for a few hours....

I lived my weekends overly excited for wondering were I would be at 2 a.m....
There were a few places you could find all of us....

1. A dimmly lit pizza place

2. A cab waiting in the drive thru for the worse mexican food & a delicious rice water

3. After ransacking a bartender at close to somehow sell us a box of beer you could find a great amount of people seated around the marble island of apt#101 in the rumley lofts.

Its there that I met my 2 best friends....people ill never forget & people who you could not talk to for weeks but when you do you pick right back up where you left off.

We spoke about future trips...we played mulitple games of hang man on the giant white board & there were countless dart tourneys.

Life was great & when you were having a fun night it didnt end until you were walking around the farmers market with a brew, the same clothes from the previous night & a pair of sunglasses....hadn't slept & wanting a burrito before you hit the hay for a few hours.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Back to meeting my 2 bestys....lets consider them no hair but cares & NBD...

No Hair was passed out in a booth but woke up long enough to state his name & that he enjoyed motorcyles & my shoes....

Zombie Prom.......never have I EVER ate so many
Twinkies! #ThanksObama

NBD some how adopted me to be his daughter to look out for me. That storys a little blurry, but they were the 2 that I could call on no matter what....give me a safe place to crash & visit me in the hospital when the story of Blanche was coming to an end. Theyre the ride or dies....

They also are the 2, for the first few months to a year, believed my real name was Blanche.

NBD will soon be telling the same story & No Hair is the non biological godfather of Gwen...not like really but like the type that wears suits & gold rings & leave horse heads in your bed.

Seemed legit.

To them I dedicate my fun times & apologize for the times that I gave them no choice to not celebrate half birthdays or Tuesday happy hours or to drink to the fact that I looked good in my license picture after getting it back.

In The Beginning

After months & months of saying,

•  "I should start a blog" 

• "I'm like real clever & I think IM funny" 

I decided, since I have the afternoon free of  mommy duties and my work seems to be finished, what the heck today is thee Day.

(in advance grammatical and punctuation errors are not proofread becuz it isn't how I write, its all about what I'm typing)

My life seems either reality show gold or blog worthy.

So......
 HERE IT IS!!

Ladies & Gentlemen
Boys & Girls
Cats & Dogs
Astronauts & Cowboys

Introducing the college started, cosmo completed, party retired, 9 month experienced Mama....
ME!!

Lets start by saying life has changed A LOT from the past 5 years to now & EVEN MORE from the past 10 years. But I don't feel like I really started enjoying life to its fullest until 5 years ago. Which is RIGHT where it all begins.

The story of Blanche and the beginning of my blog.

Around this time about 5 years ago I was just starting to really leave the whole corporate America scene (aka the job that everyone seems to had or is working, a number taking nomad at, lets not name real names, but it rhymes with Tells Largo and FationSide)

I was sick of the non changing everyday schedule of a non-brain routine (which at this point in my life you would think I was bloody ILL from stating), but I just couldn't see me in it forever....around this time I started to frequent a Sushi Bar in the area that seem to become my mecca of total release and "me'ism". It was there that I had met the most amazing people that I truly began to see were MY Des Moines family. Home away from home. My drop me off at home I'm Blanched friends.

You know them and we all have them. The friends that would sit next to you in a jail cell saying "crap we messed up....it was fun....but now what".
 Than you look over and say "yea man,& I just used my 1 phone call to order  pizza",
you embrace in a high-five and are totally content with your situation.

If you were a Downtown DSM frequenter you know
and Miss this slide as much as the rest of us. Blanche
in her own habitat.

If you missed it The Blanche began 5 years ago...I was a Karaoking, Long Island Drinking, socializing fool.

My moto:
"You can't really enjoy the weekend if you Don't start drinking on a Wednesday"

Soon after that Blanche was brought up as the oldest lady name that started with a "B", & it stuck. Sadly was also the name of the slutty Golden Girl, let me state for the record, THAT WAS NOT WHY.

Blanche wasn't so much a name as a state of mind where ya just kind of forgot there were people around. You were singing off key, the wrong words and dancing like the whitest person you know, but when you looked around the smile you brought to someones face laughing at you or just enjoying the show that was what you were there for.

So what at that time you did your math that $20 would buy you 4 Long Islands and you were done for the evening, you were there for laughs and memories, fuzzy or otherwise.

Blanche was a great gal. 

The Woman, The Myth, The Legend.